Ahhhh.,,,,the awful, oppressive heat of the summer has passed and the days are cool, breezy, blue sky gorgeous days once again. Sleeping like a baby....unless someone decides to "love" me with his murder mitts in the middle of night.....or certain other clowns get into mischief.
So, there I was, blissfully asleep...having a dream with lots of ocean water and strange celebrities.....and "SPLINK!!" What the hell was that??? It's barely daylight....sounded sort of like glass (please, god, no) and I do not have my "land legs" which at my age and with both kinds of arthritis sometimes require more than just a little bit of time to find, so I go ...leaping? stumbling? lurching? from bed to see what in freaking tarnation they have broken.
It was only a plastic pill cutter. One of the three plastic pill cutters I keep perpetually on the kitchen table since four of the clowns have asthma sometimes severe enough to require medication. Scruff gets daily medication. Imp gets every other day meds. Sometimes Lupo.....it all depends....I don't want drug addict cats but I also want them to breathe.
Alright, I picked up the cheap little pill cutter...it happened to be the one that lost a piece all by itself soon after I purchased it, so I was not upset. The pill cutter is a piece of shit anyway. Snort.
Back to bed and more dreams.
My husband is one of those...ugh..."morning" type people. I am not. He tends to get up a couple of hours earlier than I do. He makes coffee for himself and does I don't know what else....it's freaking morning...sometimes he empties the dishwasher, sometimes he doesn't. He has to go across the street presently because our friends and neighbors who live there are in Bulgaria and he is taking care of their thousands of plants until they return. Thousands. Every window, every ledge, every balcony...inside, outside...thousands of plants. But....I digress.
Somewhere around nine or so (that's not so bad, is it???...beats the damned crack of dawn!) I rouse myself as gently as I can into the day. Sometimes I am rewarded with the ringing of distant bells. Sometimes the birds serenade me. Sometimes one or two of the clowns show up to pretend they love me but what they really want is breakfast.
I go bleary eyed into the bathroom and wash the sleep from my eyes, get dressed, for what that's worth nowadays, and venture into the world.
First, I get whatever medications needed ready. I check the dishwasher. Then I have to get the dirty cat bowls from the night before, rinse and load into the dishwasher. Get my tea water ready. My own medications,,,and a mighty load they are! Fresh water for kitties..two bowls in the back room and the two big bowls that were my sweet Harry's bowls...and are now water bowls for the clowns.
Harry, my now deceased dog....had a "neater feeder"...a raised up feeder that held two bowls, one for food, one for water, for better neck and digestive health. Now it is just for cat water.
I was just about ready to open the cans for clown car breakfast when out of the blue, like the proverbial bat out of hell, Percy came tearing down the hallway and slammed all thirteen pounds of himself into the "neater feeder" with full and extreme force. Water went flying. Cats went flying. And my mouth went flying off with every expletive I could possibly think of at maximum volume.
All windows open due to lovely weather, so I guess it's a good thing my neighbors don't speak English because I let loose with a long and loud string of four letter words that would have made George Carlin proud. Somehow I doubt that much translation was necessary. I'm sure whoever heard me got my drift.
First I retrieved the sloshing bowls, then I cleaned up the floor, sopped up the excess water in the lower half of the "neater feeder" then cleaned up the top half and put them both together again. As I was bent over, struggling...please refer back to advanced age and arthritis...my husband walked in. "What are you trying to do?" What am I trying to do? What kind of question is that? How about..."What happened?" What I am trying to do is not lose my temper again over a stupid question. What I am trying to do is restore order where there was chaos. What I am trying to do is stand back up straight without wincing or crying out. I am trying to freaking feed the damned freaking cats!!!
Percy must be sniffing too much Feliway, because he did it again....went tearing around at warp speed, that is...and nearly knocked a lamp off a table. (Cheap wooden lamp bought for just such an occasion!)
Or perhaps it was just the sudden change in the weather. Today he is an angel, of sorts....a fat, fluffy orange angel.
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